There’s always a chance that she decides 5 months later, yep, todays the day I answer that guys multiple choice questions.

And me being a man of statistics and math, knows that even though it’s only a half percent chance she will actually respond, that’s half a percent chance for every single one of the 748 girls.

You can’t proceed to the next awkward stage of eharmony until the other person responds back.

My distance is set to the smallest at 30 miles away. I’m not going to end up in one of their commercials. Pass this along to anyone that’s thinking about doing eharmony.com, it’s your American duty. I called and spoke to a guy, and all he could say was “all I can do is refer you to the email”, he literally said that like 7 times.

My math might be wrong, but I’m pretty sure LA is farther than 30 miles from San Diego. I guess I have to find another way to waste money on girls that aren’t making out with me per month. That’s all he could say, and read off his script, when I asked him, but WHY was my account canceled.

Also, thank you for taking the time to read this during work. Also if you’d like to take this opportunity to tell your female single co-workers about this blog, and ask them if they want to date me, I wouldn’t be mad. Fuck Eharmony.com, which I couldn’t believe was still available. Now the tricky thing about eharmony is, it takes two to tango.

If that’s the case, please scroll down like 2 inches (that’s what she said) and get those words off your screen. Other titles include: “Dear Eharmony, because of you I’m going to have to reproduce through mitosis” “Dear Eharmony, I just bought the domain name Fuck Eharmony.com, no seriously, I did”| “Dear Eharmony, you took my money, dignity, and self respect, and all I got was this lousy blog” It’s true, I actually did buy the domain name So the purpose, the essence, of this blog, is that my eharmony subscription is ending this month. This is my second stint on eharmony.com, this last stint I signed up for 6 months. At first it’s awesome you have matches sent to you, which you review and if you like you can proceed to step 1, which is you send them multiple choice questions.

I think it’s actually a cumulative binomial probability problem.

Where basically it’s a small win chance per girl, but cumulative the win chance becomes greater with each girl added to the pool. You know your chances of winning are slim to none, but that doesn’t mean you throw away the lottery ticket.

That’s always kind of awkward when you’re supposed to be “working”. You’re going to continue reading without telling any of your hot female co-workers? I had some other titles in work for this blog, but they just didn’t capture the essence of what I was trying to say. A “computer” matches you up based on “29 levels of compatibility”, which I’m fine with. Because you’re thinking, wow some super computer down at Eharmony headquarters is crunching vectors and differential equations just to find my perfect mate, and everyday you log in and see new matches, that you think are hand picked from the computer gods above.

I mean, I feel bad if you’re at work right now reading this, and the biggest letters on your screen involve the words FUCK YOU. So after you completed their riddles and questions, you then can start receiving “matches”, hurray!

They’re probably closed you out and you didn’t know. I WISH they had closed me out, that way at least I know they’re weren’t interested, they would be removed from my list.